Thomas, Maltuin

I definitely see that, however I don't like to over edit anything, I don't want to draw an apple and add so much or take away, to the point that it looks like an orange. I will be making changes but I consider this to be almost complete. I want to smooth it out for fluidity sake, and I want the final movement to pop. The last section should seal the main theme within the mind of the reader, or reveal a bigger picture. I will post actions I edit as I go from here to St least see if my changes add or take away, because I have figured out, that you can't see your own picture, when you are standing so close for so long. I hyper analyze and I will be needing to see through the eyes of others to get a clear image. How do you like the cut up versus the simpler examples previous

ok lets see what we have perhaps the manifestation of histories, experiences, stories, of footsteps within life, within joy, have been shaped in the wake of hardships endured by The Protagonist well its different thats certain at this point, i'm not sure if your critiquing me foxbunny, or practicing for class when you get your students to do things just for "the experience"

perhaps joys, within stories, hardships, experiences, manifest histories, that {LIVE} within footsteps- have shaped the Identity in the wake of The protagonist i guess the ending will always be difficult

thats an interesting thought... i wonder if that will work without eliminating the meaning

could you, by chance, elaborate on that?

I think you did really good schizo! I can see improvements over your last picture already :3 Keep it up! You did a good job differentiating the maned wolf from a fox. Tonight I will be drawing and I gotta focus on differentiating a tiger face from that of other felines. I just had an idea, what if you drew a penguin looking into a mirror at a hyena. That might be good practice for drawing different perspectives

I decided to post a new copy for the edit so we can track progress. sorry it takes up so much space. Movement One story without plot rhyme no reason they are beautiful I embrace them though frivoulous perplexing how you believe they have meaning without existance of contrasting thought Movement Two would you part gemeni or hands from their work without water land they till becomes dull mass of dirt End of Statement Not of song what lyric without voice has freewill without choice must I list the meaningless forever in silence Movement Three what is harmony without melody paint without canvass medium without foundation What a thought! true freedom without direction majestic for a moment only a moment the pitfall of my unfinished labor makeshift vanity dissapated into forgotten dreams make no mistake such creations bear certain appeal yet unseen essence draws them into the void as memories fragmented in pieces without one final sliver become spare change on the table overlooked forgotten though of value upon assembly Movement Four what is a character without a tale? what is a novel without a soul to speak of which was first chicken or egg to those who say egg I say "nay" a chicken will thrive without young the simple ellipse without a mother- hardboiled in a salad together they are whole the one gains life the other lives abundantly The Grand Scheme! A Master Theme! can there be a creator without creation Final Movement Is a book worth writing without characters to fill it? or would it be filled, with lands and backgrounds of ambiguity? Is a person annulled without a life to retell? or is he a mannequin with a simple, painted, face perhaps we find joys, within my stories, hardships, experiences, manifest history, living with in footsteps- have shaped Identity in the wake of The protagonist who once wrote, "I now understand, paradox of biography. what is white without black?" ~Thomas Maltuin in movement four i left "to speak of" & "which was first" in the same line to keep the thought moving while shifting to my metaphorical poultry i kept "to speak of" in left alignment so as to finish the previous stanza while, optionally, starting the next thought. the overspacing in "list the meaningless" is now gone in the final movement i am attemting to make the split section readable down the center as well as on each side and accross. i think its possible, but it doesn't read smooth like it is. if anyone has a suggestion, i'm all ears. if i can't get it to work i'll have to figure out something else and remove the center stanza, i like the left and right being seperate thoughts.

actually i decided not to run d&d at all. i don't have any experience running a campaign. i will probably run a free form story rp later, if anyone expresses interest. however, if you run a d&d campaign on my off nights i'll probably join in.

i know how that feels. drawing is always easier for me when i have something to build upon, let me see...... draw an anthro version of a "maned wolf" that would be cool

ummmm. thank you :3 thank you, i had the same thought about "list the meaningless" but i was unsure so i will edit that. i see your point about the seperation of stanzas. i will look at that a bit more closely. also in the final movement, i considered making it readable across as well, i'm not sure how to fix it "as is" any suggestions?

I by no means intend to instigate argument here, but i would like to make what i think to be a valid point. I understand what you mean salem, and i originally brought up sandboxes, because you said videogames could be defined in three tiers, but that excluded a branch, i just meant to say, there could be a fourth tier. however, if we look instead at videogames more on a gradient (i hope that is the correct word ) comparison, we can see how minecraft could still apply. on the far end we have games with a concrete hard story, like call of duty, or alan wake, no real decision making, go through the motions. then we have games like cave story, a few decisions here and there, story changes slightly, or bioshock 2 with multiple endings. then we have games like skyrim have a story but all the fine details are completely up to you, and finally we arrive at minecraft which has a shell of a story when playing in survival. first you arrive, then you must survive and andventure and create shelter, as you gather resources and explore you can find a gateway leading to a great dragon and on pc you can even summon another evil known as the wither. there is a story there but it is just highly variable, we go from, no choice, to moderate choice, to frequent choice and finally we arrive at choice dominance. minecraft would apply opposite the way a "story telling game" such as the first "the walking dead" game would apply, and it was more a story book similar to the goosebumps books where you would flip to other pages dependant upon making a decision of "go up the stairs" versus "flee home like a pansy" getting back to topic however, where would you fine furs place the original pokemon on the list?

Movement One story without plot rhyme no reason they are beautiful I embrace them though frivoulous perplexing how you believe they have meaning without existance of contrasting thought Movement Two would you part gemeni or hands from their work without water land they till becomes dull mass of dirt End of Statement Not of song what lyric without voice has freewill without choice must I list the meaningless forever in silence Movement Three what is harmony without melody paint without canvass medium without foundation What a thought! true freedom without direction majestic for a moment only a moment the pitfall of my unfinished labor makeshift vanity dissapated into forgotten dreams make no mistake such creations bear certain appeal yet unseen essence draws them into the void as memories fragmented in pieces without one final sliver become spare change on the table overlooked forgotten though of value upon assembly Movement Four what is a character without a tale? what is a novel without a soul to speak of which was first chicken or egg to those who say egg I say "nay" a chicken will thrive without young the simple ellipse without a mother hardboiled in a salad together they are whole the one gains life the other lives abundantly The Grand Scheme! A Master Theme! can there be a creator without creation Final Movement Is a book worth writing without characters to fill it? or would it be filled, with lands and backgrounds of ambiguity? Is a person annulled without a life to speak of? or is he a mannequin with a simple, painted, face perhaps joys stories hardships manifest history in footsteps- have shaped the wake of The protagonist who once wrote, "I now understand, paradox of biography. what is white without black?" ~Thomas Maltuin

sorry there was an image here, it was really big and it was text included in the post below

No they just think it makes them look cool

Thank you Direlda

Me and Salem have been discussing a bit out of thread. What we are looking at is like the first you mentioned although we are considering a single story with multiple parallel plot lines that meet somewhere. Hoping to hear more from the others soon but we gotta all be on together which is what makes it difficult. I won't lie, I was hoping that our favorite kitsune would drop in

Salem I think you left out a branch of video games though it's a bit off the topic. Minecraft and good are both what I call video games but they are also sandboxes where you can make your own rules or better yet tour own story or mini game. For balanced story/game play, I'd have to say everything on valves Half-life tree (which includes portal) is a perfect example. Dust an elysian tale is also good if you like a platformer and like Norzman said, cave story is also good. If any of you haven't played cave story, it may be a free download on pc and anything current, albeit barebones in the way of tech specs, should run it. Great diversity on how you play. dust an elysian tail is a great game for Furs and some one started a topic about it here that mentioned Christian symbolism in the game.

I don't understand having a bass with more than 5

I really should get a bass. This is inspiring. I like it better than what I've seen of Steve vai's bassist

Okay I will. I'm going to write it out on paper first this time which should help too. It should be up tomorrow.

In my mind this almost felt like the words of an eccentric character. An unknown voice speaking before a curtain is pulled back to reveal an opening scene. Seems my mind likes to express different thoughts with unique voice. I want certain areas to express themselves poetically to a certain degree. Let me make an edit and see where we are.

Okay so after a night of 3rd shift spent with a blank mind, I feel I was being a brat yesterday. I do want my poetry to be better. What changes I make are up to me but in truth I should be more open to criticism especially when I seem to so Freely give it. Foxbunny, you had some insight, and I was wondering if you had any more or would like to elaborate upon what was suggested yesterday. And if anyone else has some constructive advice, feel free to share. What do you like or dislike about the content, grammar, or structure of this poem, keeping in mind that it is intended to be a bit, shall I say, chaotic.

this was intended as free verse. It was spontaneously done. Improvised. I specifically denied myself when I would say "let me change that" except to replace repetitious words. I would like to refine later but for now this is intended as raw thought, rough, only posted as poetry because for some reason as it threaded itself through my brain it struck me as strangely poetic compared to the rigorous rituals my mind usually produces. It was a moment of freedom. I will read your suggestion though.

It just kind of stopped here but I think it kinda worked out

A poem I was struck with inspiration at random per the usual and I must let it out before it fades away or dominates my mind. What is, A story without a plot, A rhyme without reason, Some times more beautiful perhaps Ah I embrace the existence of some in all their frivolous nature. However, I am quite perplexed at how many assume that some of the following can exist meaningfully without their mate and counter part Would you divide true Gemini? Or part the hand from his work? For what is land without the water, but a dull mass of dirt. Period. End of statement, not of song: What is lyric without voice, free will without choice? Hmm... Oh my this brings more into my mind, I'll let it out lest I endlessly list the meaningless to myself in silence. What is harmony without melody? Paint without canvass? Medium without foundation? What a thought, true freedom without direction beautiful for a moment but a moment only. Perhaps this is the pitfall of my unfinished works. A temporary vanity that dissipates into a forgotten thought. Don't mistake my meaning, (for I'm not sure if there is one.) there is an attractive quality about such creation, but it pulls toward a bigger picture not yet seen. Perhaps, as memories, fragmented into minute pieces, that without the final sliver, will never be anything greater than Spare change on a dresser of value yet overlooked and long forgotten. I ask you now what I asked myself, In rhetoric none the less, but I ask, What is a character without a story? What is a tale without a single soul? Which was first? chicken or egg? Some say egg but I say nay for a chicken will survive without the egg but without a chicken, a simple elipse is without life and placed hardboiled into salad. Put them together and the egg lives, but the hen lives more purposefully. Alas that fits more into the Grand scheme, a master theme which still lacks bearing on this nonsense I spew in abundance. What is a creator without Creation. Is a story worth writing without a character, or is it become a gentle background without a focal point? Is a character void without a story in which to live? Or was the story there all along, composed in the footsteps and wake of our beloved protagonist. Or was the character shaped out of joys and hardships of her own history. Who wrote who The paradox of biography is revealed to me now. What is white without black?