I'm really saddened to hear about your struggle.
I think the main things to remember are:
First- Feelings are feelings. A married man may find people other than his spouse attractive, and may well be very tempted by some individuals because of kindness or other factors, but it is how he reacts to these feelings that matters. If believe that giving in to the feelings would be wrong, then do your best to not focus on them.
Second- Sin does not send you to hell, but unforgiven sin. If you are a Christian, you struggle, but you are forgiven. Rejoice at that fact.
Third- If it really concerns you, speak with a counselor. There may be past issues at work in your life.
I'll pray for your peace.