Redoing my intro, with detail

[HuskyDog† 0]

I know that I typically respond to threads and I don't do it very often. I don't think I've created a thread at all here (except maybe in the introduction forums). Sorry for the length.

 

I've shared some of my thoughts with you all on other threads but I don't feel like I've really let you all get to know me or gotten to know all of you too well. I'm open to questions but I also want to say some things.

 

Firstly, of course, I'm a Christian. I've grown up in a Christian household. My family is largely Catholic, though I also have an uncle that's Orthodox and another uncle that's non-denominational. While I'm Catholic, my family is friends with many Christians of other churches (from my memory, mainly Baptist, Methodist) and I grew up across the street from the 1st Federated Church in our town and attended services there sometimes, and we are family friends with the pastor and his family.

 

I went to public school until highschool, which was a decent Catholic school. Went to a private secular college out of state and got my undergrad in Computer Science there.

 

As far as personal growth in my faith is concerned, while I always grew up a Christian and was always learning about my faith, I had always been somewhat isolated. Up until college, I never really knew anyone personally who was not a Christian (or at least was a Christian because their family was). The tenets of the faith never really were challenged. I had formed somewhat conservative political viewpoints due to my family liking to listen to AM talk radio a lot and my mom tends to be more on the conservative side of things, though I also never believed in political parties, and registered independent when I registered to vote. But growing up I did definitely have a "Democrats = bad" attitude, because of this. I don't think I really understood the issues well enough though, and was more or less co-opting opinions from others (I suspect due to maturity levels), even though I was pretty good at debate, being one of intelligence. Though I do have ADHD and that has hampered my academic success to a degree.

 

In college, it was the first time that I was surrounded by people who, for the most part, weren't Christians. The groups I was around were, predominantly, atheist and Christian, but the Christians weren't as common. I had met some friends there, both Christian and non, and have carried on good relationships with them. We're open about our religious/spiritual views and respect each other, too. One of my atheist friends did tend to give me a hard time now and then but, from what I gathered from my other friends, I tended to make him uncomfortable, because I was so much like him, yet had faith, and was happy, and I don't think he understood it. I think it disturbed him to a degree (and my friends think so too). Sometimes I wonder if it was my witness that caused him to tease. He transferred out to get into acting though, and while I have him on Facebook, I don't keep up with him as much these days so I don't know how he's doing in that regard.

 

But anyways, when I got into college, my faith kind of hit a lot of turbulence. I am a shy fellow, and have some amount of social anxiety, so it made it difficult to make a stand for my faith, initially. I pushed on though, at first rather timidly (I remember, making up some excuse about schoolwork when they wanted to go to Hooters, though someone else said it's also against my religion too and I sheepishly agreed). Over time I got more comfortable. One revelation I had which helped was: "If atheists and agnostics can feel free to be so open about their beliefs/disbeliefs, why should I be afraid to share as well?". And so I started being more open about it, discussing my faith with my friends and classmates. This actually got me to test some of my pre-trained arguments for the faith (the kind that you usually say in conversation with other Christians to kind of say "how can they not believe when ____ is so obvious?" and the like). I found many of them didn't stick, or that they often had considered it and had a pretty good response. It got me aware of some of the issues that those that aren't of the faith have with Christianity, and often with the Christians themselves. It challenged my faith, and shook it a bit, but thank God that I sought out answers from my Christian brothers and sisters. We covered topics like sex, evolution and science in general, evangelism, informed faith vs. blind faith, morality, religious institutions, bigotry, hatred, and love.

 

During all this, my family was praying that I'd find a good group of Christians, perhaps a Bible study of some sort, to fellowship with, since it was a secular environment. I wasn't particularly looking for anything, because I was somewhat afraid that I'd be stuck in an isolated environment again. While I was being challenged, I liked the challenge because I wanted to take to heart the idea that while we aren't of the world, we should preach in the world, which means learning to relate to the people who we want to see saved. I found that I needed that experience. But I also needed fellowship. It was interesting (and I would say somewhat of divine providence) how I found it.

 

It was just after Palm Sunday and it was late, so I went down to the tunnels below the dorms to get a late-night snack of a sandwich wrap. While sitting, waiting for my order, someone else came by and sat near me, holding a palm branch. Since I knew these get distributed during Mass, I asked if he was Catholic. He said he was, but he actually found the branch on the floor out in the tunnels. Someone must have dropped it. He didn't want to leave it there so he picked it up. We started talking and he mentioned a group where students and others in the area would meet up and discuss Scripture and the faith. It was led by a man who lived off campus and converted the lower part of his house into a study center. I decided to go, and I was blown away. It was only a few of us, but this man was very smart and these people, who were my age, were of deep faith. They'd go to Mass together on Sundays and get together otherwise to have fun. Many went to my college and had normal interests like anyone else, but had a deep love for God and were intelligent to boot. I immediately felt humbled, and some guilt, because I knew I wasn't living up to the standard of God, which was becoming clearer as I attended these discussions and talked with them. Over time I learned a lot and saw the group grow, and see more and more people come in. I still hung out with my other friends, but every Friday I'd attend their Bible study, Sunday I would go to Mass with them and then go out for brunch, and then on other days I'd hang out with them on occasion, with the odd Saturday spent helping with housework at the Center.

 

If that didn't seem providential, I later learned that the person I met when waiting for my wrap lived across campus and didn't typically hang out in that dorm, but was there because they were having a group session with some D&D or Risk or some other game, and he wasn't hungry. That + the branch + my going down to eat + timing + he sat next to me was pretty chance. I know the Holy Spirit was burning to get me to talk to him. As I'm a shy person, I didn't want to, but I was compelled and eventually did against my will. Good thing I did!

 

Anyways, that has helped me grow in my faith a lot. I graduated and am out of state but I still keep in contact and visit now and then. The trip is worth it! I'm still growing but it has helped me gain more knowledge of the faith, as well as become more rooted and centered. Evangelism is a big part of our group, and we have had conversions come through (one regular member is a father, former atheist, now ardent Catholic). I thank God for leading me there.

 

Going back a bit, because it's come up in here already, I want to touch on my sexuality and how it relates to my faith journey. Because of my home environment, I always grew up with a clear message about what one should not do when it comes to sex, as far back as puberty. I had a lot of exposure to commentary on homosexuality in the culture, thanks to my parents, talk radio (like Focus On The Family), etc. As I was someone who was very shy and didn't want to rock the boat, and wanted to be a good son, it was difficult for me to allow myself to grow in that area. Where my classmates and even my brothers were forming relationships and going out on dates, I didn't. I was worried, too. For various reasons, I worried that I might be gay. It was a horrific thing for me to consider, because of what I heard. I felt like I'd be a disappointment if it were the case and was afraid of the complications in my life because of it. I didn't want to deal with that confrontation. So I ignored it and suppressed. It still bothered me, though. All the way through college, this was the case, though I started to think about it more, then. At some point I sincerely thought that I was asexual, but I had a sex drive, clearly, so that wasn't true.

 

I ultimately met some Christians online who I formed a close friendship with. I talked about this and prayed about it with them. I started thinking about this more, and looking more into the teachings of the Church. Homosexual sex was prohibited, but simply being a homosexual isn't sinful, because they didn't choose to become one. The focus on sex made me think about love. Platonic love is fine. Sexual acts are another matter. But so was putting yourself in a situation of temptation where you may be led to sin. But then there were homosexual people I met who were good people and loved each other every bit as much as my parents loved each other. I had many questions but I gradually started to open up to my sexuality. I realized that I am bisexual. I formed a relationship with another guy, another Christian, but it is long distance (mostly) and we have discussed sex and have agreed to abstain. But, it is real romantic love. As I was still unsure of how to proceed, I started reading and talking about the subject more, with them and others. I consulted with my friends from college who were part of the Center. I listened to "Naked Without Shame: A Crash Course in Theology of the Body" recently (by the way, awesome lecture series). I'm reading the Bible and learning about the historical contexts and nuances in translation of these texts. I'm comparing this with the common arguments put forth by members on both sides of the issue. I'm still doing this, and have been at it for the past year or so. I'm learning a lot, but still have some ways to go. However, I am relatively confident that my original assessment that platonic love is not prohibited.

 

I'm earnestly trying to reach the Truth, here, and am very wary of bias and attempts to twist Scripture and logic to my own desired interpretations. So far, my help has been very acquiescing to this and things have been going better than I even hoped. I thank my friends, here, for their openness and candor, and love and understanding through this time of confusion.

 

I'm talking more online about my faith these days, coming from all this background, with the intent of learning new things and gaining deeper understanding, but I also desire to teach and evangelize. When people question the faith, I want to help them with their struggles. I have found that I am able to do so at times, but I know I'm not perfect and all-knowledgeable either. I have learned that it has to be approached with a willingness to listen on my end, but also the same on theirs, and that's not always the case. It has tested my nerves but I'm praying on it, and have found God can help me be more loving and trust in Him through these debates. The Holy Spirit works in everyone, and part of my growth involves learning to know where my limits are, and trusting God with what I cannot control, and to work in others. Ultimately, I am a tool for God to work in this way. He uses me for specific things, but He is in control in the end, so I must accept that.

 

I'm on here because I enjoy the furry community (I have known of it since at least about 10 years ago) and am glad to have found a community of Christians here, as well. Oftentimes, my best friends are the ones I can share my faith with, I find, and so it has been true in the furry community. But, I know that those that come through here are in various stages of their faith life. Some surpass me, some have more struggles and confusions that they're dealing with, and some may not even be questions but are curious about the faith. I want to learn and also help where I can. I want to challenge people where I see that they may need growth, but also encourage those who are on the right track. And I want to spread the love that God has shown me, and that many are desperately seeking.

 

So, if you didn't know me, that's a pretty comprehensive background. I hope that I can be a productive member in this community, henceforth. And I'm sorry if I have fallen short of the call to love in the past or caused undue distress to others. I hope to make amends to that.

 

God bless! Thanks for reading it.

[VC_Wolffe† 0]

Nice Bio... I think you just topped everyone else by at least 800 words.

 

^^ Great way to share, and get to know others.

 

I'm still reading through it all right now. XD

[HuskyDog† 0]

Nice Bio... I think you just topped everyone else by at least 800 words.

 

^^ Great way to share' date=' and get to know others.

 

I'm still reading through it all right now. XD

[/quote']

Thank you! I know it's long.

 

I am open to any and all questions, by the way. I hope that this helps people see where I'm coming from, too. I think some people have assumed things of me in the past that may not have been accurate, so I wanted to be open so that people understand my positions a bit better.

[Guest Wolfin]

/me slips this into your file and makes a note to get a larger filing cabinet.

[Jonan† 0]

Well being here such a short time I can't say I would have any misconceptions about you. I gather from this that there are several things we have in common, some I'd mention here and some I wouldn't.

 

I will say though that among many popular denominations, and indeed the people in them, the dominant mentality on anything questionable is, "Could it possibly be turned into something bad, if so, then avoid it altogether." Like with Baptists, they don't allow any drinking, any dancing, and any theology that is questionable or vague, like speaking in tongues, other real spiritual gifts, theology about the Holy Spirit, etc. is just right out condemned or ignored because it might be possibly abused or lead to something bad. The, better safe than sorry, mentality.

 

I find this to be immature personally, and it can possibly limit your growth by limiting any discernment you might have to make about gray areas because it's much easier to be able to look at a legalistic rule than it is to pray and read and figure it out yourself. But believe me, if you don't come to your own decision on something like drinking, sexuality, etc. it will haunt you and one day that hollow rule you got handed will crack under pressure and you'll have nothing to fall back on of your own.

 

An example, I drink. I have set rules however on how much I drink, when I drink, where I drink, the reasons I drink, who I drink around, etc. My brother and his new wife visited us however and we talked about it a bit and he discovered that I drink, and he took that as an excuse to start abusing it, despite growing up always thinking it was bad and swearing he never would.

Me, I sat down and I figured out how much I could drink without getting "drunk", I calculated how long I would need for it to completely wear off so I knew when to stop so I would be sober to go anywhere, I set rules for drinking only when celebrating something or when I was happy, never when I was depressed or angry, I decided to not bring it up and not drink around people who don't drink, and I don't drink anywhere in public where I would conceivably run into someone I know who doesn't drink and I even found a church that allows its members and leaders to drink but forbids drunkenness so I wasn't violating their rules and standards.

My brother didn't do that, he just thought, "Well he does it, so it must be ok." he didn't figure it out for himself and gauge the benefits and detriments.

 

So disdaining for no reason can be far more dangerous than partaking with caution.

[HuskyDog† 0]

Well being here such a short time I can't say I would have any misconceptions about you. I gather from this that there are several things we have in common' date=' some I'd mention here and some I wouldn't.

 

I will say though that among many popular denominations, and indeed the people in them, the dominant mentality on anything questionable is, "Could it possibly be turned into something bad, if so, then avoid it altogether." Like with Baptists, they don't allow any drinking, any dancing, and any theology that is questionable or vague, like speaking in tongues, other real spiritual gifts, theology about the Holy Spirit, etc. is just right out condemned or ignored because it might be possibly abused or lead to something bad. The, better safe than sorry, mentality.

 

I find this to be immature personally, and it can possibly limit your growth by limiting any discernment you might have to make about gray areas because it's much easier to be able to look at a legalistic rule than it is to pray and read and figure it out yourself. But believe me, if you don't come to your own decision on something like drinking, sexuality, etc. it will haunt you and one day that hollow rule you got handed will crack under pressure and you'll have nothing to fall back on of your own.

 

An example, I drink. I have set rules however on how much I drink, when I drink, where I drink, the reasons I drink, who I drink around, etc. My brother and his new wife visited us however and we talked about it a bit and he discovered that I drink, and he took that as an excuse to start abusing it, despite growing up always thinking it was bad and swearing he never would.

Me, I sat down and I figured out how much I could drink without getting "drunk", I calculated how long I would need for it to completely wear off so I knew when to stop so I would be sober to go anywhere, I set rules for drinking only when celebrating something or when I was happy, never when I was depressed or angry, I decided to not bring it up and not drink around people who don't drink, and I don't drink anywhere in public where I would conceivably run into someone I know who doesn't drink and I even found a church that allows its members and leaders to drink but forbids drunkenness so I wasn't violating their rules and standards.

My brother didn't do that, he just thought, "Well he does it, so it must be ok." he didn't figure it out for himself and gauge the benefits and detriments.

 

So disdaining for no reason can be far more dangerous than partaking with caution.

[/quote']

 

I like that. Personally, I don't drink because some of my medications that I have to take clash with alcohol. If I have anything, it's very little (a sip of Eucharistic wine once a week is about the most I do these days). But I know you didn't mean it for drinking. I am trying to discern as well as possible. The reason I went on this whole exercise of studying teachings about sexuality is because all the teachings I've ever gotten were shallow in reasoning. Basically "this is what we teach". I wanted to know why. I wanted to understand the reasoning, because some things didn't make sense to me, and the Scripture passages commonly referenced were difficult to interpret. And this is true especially in the Old Testament which is a complete bear when it comes to understanding the nuances in meaning due to the age of the text and cultures and the fact that it was all passed down orally for a long time before being recorded in writing.

 

I don't like settling for "better safe than sorry". Theology of the Body actually covers this. "Better safe than sorry" is a good attitude to take when you are immature in your faith. Of course you don't want to cause unnecessary harm when you don't know better. But that does lead to legalism, which we are not called to be (that's even Biblical, for those inclined to that argument). We should start with regular abstaining, but then immediately follow it with study and prayer, so that you may understand God's will and most especially allow God to change your heart and form your will to His.

 

There's actually a really cool story from the early church that demonstrates this. Its authenticity is debated, but it's a good illustration of this concept.

(From http://loveundefiled.blogspot.com/2009/07/priests-and-prostitutes.html)

In the early Church of two Bishops who walked out of a Cathedral. There was a prostitute on the other side of the road. The first Bishop glanced the other way in order that he did not look lustfully at her. But the other continued to look at her. The Bishop who looked away began to rebuke the other, when he tearfully pronounced, “"How sad, that such beauty should be sold to the lusts of men.” The prostitute had seen how he glanced at her and she converted.

 

So ya. Thanks for reading and replying.