echo side echo side whenosomething echoside

[riddle kat† 0]

the current physiological horror i'm writting this is only the first chapter. Hope you enjoy

echo side.odt

[Galantine Knight Misticore† 0]

Its funny how you can describe very short descriptions about 4 days in less then a page of text. I would recommend spreading out each event to like 4 or 5 paragraphs, enjoy the short moments allot more and try to build the story that you have created. When I read it I think of my sister on the cellphone telling me about a 4 day weekend and what she did with only 3 minutes to tell me about it. The plot is also kind of jammed up a bit and you need more history to build off of then just that Halloween candy give out(which caught my attention from the start I might add which is hard to do ) So here is my advice, try and tell me a particular event in 5 minutes, read it to yourself out loud and time yourself, you will be amazed at the difference and quality of writing you will get from doing that also you will have more character and a reason for us to take interest. But aside from everything else a nice start at writing, keep it up

[riddle kat† 0]

Its funny how you can describe very short descriptions about 4 days in less then a page of text. I would recommend spreading out each event to like 4 or 5 paragraphs' date=' enjoy the short moments allot more and try to build the story that you have created. When I read it I think of my sister on the cellphone telling me about a 4 day weekend and what she did with only 3 minutes to tell me about it. The plot is also kind of jammed up a bit and you need more history to build off of then just that Halloween candy give out(which caught my attention from the start I might add which is hard to do ) So here is my advice, try and tell me a particular event in 5 minutes, read it to yourself out loud and time yourself, you will be amazed at the difference and quality of writing you will get from doing that also you will have more character and a reason for us to take interest. But aside from everything else a nice start at writing, keep it up

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i'll fix it up soon ty for the feedback