American Furry

[Galantine Knight Misticore† 0]

As the men in uniform dragged me down and out of the ISD my mind was racing. What have I done to be handled like this? Did it have to do with saluting that officer? Was my grandma in trouble? Eventually walking past the lab doors to the sentry guarded gates, I knew that something was very wrong. I struggled to get up but a hard kick was delivered followed by a harsh Russian command. As I entered my eyes saw thousands of body sized vials filled with a glowing blue liquid. My feet dragged across the platforms and below I saw thousands more, some of them being built my mechanics. My heart was beating harder than ever. My sweat made me sick as I was hoisted to my knees with my head pulled back. The next thing I felt was the cold muzzle of a gun to my throat and the yelling of Ariel, “How dare you bring him into this!”

 

The officer that held the gun spoke out, “You have two options, risk his death by your hands or mine.”

 

I saw out of my peripheral vision two men caring out a dissolving corpse with the head of an animal and the body of a human being. Heating up my throat my lunch poured out of my mouth onto one of the officer’s shoes causing him to cuss and strike me in the back of the head. My grandmother cried, “All right, just don’t hurt him anymore.”

 

The officers carried me up to one of the body sized vials and locked me in. I raised my hands to the glass still trying to breathe in through my hot throat. In the process liquid began pouring onto me eating off my clothes and skin. I screamed in horror as blood splattered in all direction causing me to drop down to my knees. My eyes burned with the loss of sight as well as every nerve in my body ceased its painful cry. Relaxation hit me and my head swayed back as I breathed in more of the liquid. Now my mind was raced as my ears filled with liquid. Silence…..

 

The sound of my heart beat is beautiful and steady. The sound becomes more intensified with every beat. As I listen adrenalin kicks in causing my heart to beat faster and louder until the fear of dyeing makes my lungs burst with screams. However my lungs could not scream sense I was drowning now: floating in suspense and agony, as if I was not ready to die. Every second of every minute clicked like an hour had gone by. My head moved dizzily in circles with my neck relaxing at different points. It was torture but a relaxing torture for as my body was being destroyed and yet my mind was still working.

 

Growth was alive in me; the idea that I was overcoming this torture gave me a weird sense of hope. My mouth was being pulled and shaped along with my ears. My feet shriveled into a smaller form and my body altered in both form and condition. I felt stronger and yet weaker in other areas. My legs cracked and rotated along with my ankles. Every motion gave me a sick twitch to my neck as if every blood vessel was exploding and growing anew. My muscles flexed until they tore and grew stronger for the next tear, my heart skipped beats and at one time did a jazz beat. Like water to a flame my skin was washed and then cleaned off. Hairs grew fast and hard many times over. Every pit in my eye popped as it grew bigger and softer. My nose was now tickling with sensation as teeth grew under it. Then a new feeling arrived as my lower back cracked open and a new appendage grew out with bone and flesh. It was as if the tail was already grown from inside my body and then suddenly ejected out. My ears popped and all my senses ceased in life. I was alone in a shell as another walked closer to me.

 

I closed my shell tightly over my mind, yet an ear splitting crack broke my shell in two. In front of my stood a wolf both confused and angry. It charged at me causing me to hit the ground hard. Growling at me with fury I kicked it off with fear and anger. I wanted to kill this wolf, and it wanted to kill me. We exchanged pain and fought. At one time I almost killed it and other times felt death in its jaws. Over time we grew tired and gave up the fight with us both licking our wounds. Then I felt compassion for the wolf and welcomed it to sit by me. With my hand petting its coat our minds become one and I no longer saw myself as just a human anymore, but a man with a wolfs body.

 

“Crack!”

 

What was that? It sounded like the splintering of glass. “Crack!”

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That's page one, tell me what you think hope you enjoyed

[Landrav† 0]

That's an interesting piece. The mental battle was very good--that kind of internal struggle is something I still need to work on. I'd like to hear more of the backstory surrounding this piece, but if this is only page 1, then maybe you'll explain things in the following narrative :3

[Galantine Knight Misticore† 0]

Well thank you I have many other pages to go along as well as some different versions and changes I made, they will soon follow. Thank you very much!

[koshi† 0]

Slightly gruesome, yet at the same time realistic and interesting. There's a lot of sensory imagery in it, very well written!

[Galantine Knight Misticore† 0]

I'm trying to improve the telling of the back story through other characters Aka the Russians and the forced scientist, rather then though the personal thoughts of the main character. I thought also that dreams might help with this as well, but I don't think I will get to it until about 3 pages in, would this be a problem you think? Or should it be much sooner than that? Also there is another gruesome and shocking part of the story that comes soon, do you feel I may be going overboard. Trying my best not to reveal it.

[Landrav† 0]

My advice is to not rush anything. Give the story plenty of room to grow and breathe. Something this epic should not be delivered in "pages." It is challenging, at first, to expand descriptions, but it does make for a better story overall. The reader wants to experience the flow of the story, not a glut of quick-fire facts about what's happening to the characters. So, there's my speech on not rushing a story :3 I'm looking forward to reading the gritty details of what happens when we discover what the cracking glass sound is!

[Jim Floyd† 0]

This is very, VERY good. The cliffhanger makes me eager for the next page!

[koshi† 0]

I'm trying to improve the telling of the back story through other characters Aka the Russians and the forced scientist' date=' rather then though the personal thoughts of the main character. I thought also that dreams might help with this as well, but I don't think I will get to it until about 3 pages in, would this be a problem you think? Or should it be much sooner than that? Also there is another gruesome and shocking part of the story that comes soon, do you feel I may be going overboard. Trying my best not to reveal it.

[/quote']

 

I think you should write what comes naturally to you, and worry about page numbers and such after you've already written it. If you try to force yourself to write something 3 pages that really only needs a couple of paragraphs, you'll end up adding lots of unnecessary filler. And if you try to cram 3 pages worth of stuff into a couple of paragraphs, it'll end up feeling very rushed.

[Galantine Knight Misticore† 0]

There I heard it again, this time I was certain of it. The glass must be breaking that surrounds my vial. “Crash!!”

 

My body was flung out onto the metal flooring as blue liquid drenched me with broken glass. My head was in deep pain along with the rest of my body. I felt someone’s hands brush off some glass out of my fur and raise me up to their face. My eyes were still glued shut as I tried to open them. “Shhh… it’s me, just lie still while I give you something to shake off the sickness.”

 

I felt a prickling and it caused me to let out a low muffle. My eyes opened and I felt energy flow through my veins. I could see Ariel my grandma holding me as she cried a few tears out of guilt. I raised my hand to my face and froze. It was a monsters hand covered in fur and had claws. I slowly brought them back into my sight and I shook unsteadily in shock. My hands were no longer human! She could see the traumatic look on my face and quickly tried to comfort me. I couldn’t think or imagine how to react. Still shaking with fear from the shock I felt a cold draft of wind causing my already cold wet body to shake unsteadily in Ariel’s arms.

 

Her hands rubbed against my wet fur as she pulled me up carefully and wrapped a white towel around my body as my feet soaked the metal flooring. She spoke into my ear, “John it’s me.” I tried to speak back but the noise I made was just gargle and teeth chattering. I didn’t realize how long my tongue was as it was already loosely hanging out of my mouth. Ariel spoke carefully to me, “John, I know that you are freaking out right now, but you need to calm down.”

 

I didn’t realize that she was caring my weight. Trying to hold my own weight I felt the ground with my lower paws. I jumped onto her in quick realizing that my feet were paws as she fell back onto her bum with me rolling off her.. She yelled out, “Be still John I almost…”

 

Her voice calmed me down now as I sniffed my paws, without realizing my amazing flexibility. Ariel was able to walk me over to an observation table with a blanket prepared for me to rest on. She motioned me to lay gently on the observation table and not to move drastically. Then another strange feeling involving a soft nudge against my….. Tail! I that I had an extra appendage! I slipped as Ariel was caught me me from falling out of being surprised by. She tried her best to heave me onto the observation table, all my attention to this tail of mine. It was both fascinating and weird.

 

I climbed onto the observation table after feeling Ariel‘s motions and she covered me with a blanket as my body continued to shake from shock. I blinked to allow the light to be more useful and less glaring. Ariel rushed back and forth gathering hospital equipment. I could not help myself, this was too much for me to handle. I began to moan like a dog in sadness, huffing in hard grief for my current condition. I was no longer human, just an animal less than a man. Her hands stroked me gently, “Hang in there John.”

 

Just from one sniff of air I could smell everything. I could tell that Ariel was eating chicken over rice and the smell of sea salt. I could picture the smell in my mind and understand it all perfectly. Smelling again the rest of the area became more obvious. Just ten feet to my left was the smell of alcohol wipes. In the trash to my right was the scent of old cigarette butts that Ariel would smoke when she was stressed. It seemed like more than usual filled the can. I opened my eyes to see dust particles glide around the area from the ventilation system. The sound of fans 20 feet above me and the wind blowing outside the 4 foot thick cement barricade. My senses were increasingly dramatic as if everything was so clear and understandable.

 

I felt the needle in Ariel’s hands which caused me to be defensive. The sound of growling came out of me and rippled in my deep throat. I was threatening her to step back. It wasn’t long before I expressed a sympathetic look and asked for forgiveness. I didn’t mean to growl at her, however she only took another step back as if to think I was purely animal. Ariel asked her eyes wide with fear, “You are John right?”

 

Speaking the answer yes, came out ghesh with a hard kick in the back of the throat. So instead I nodded to her. She relaxed a little and said, “Well don’t bite me; I’m only giving you some shots to help you adapt to environmental bacteria.”

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Ill try to post a new page every other day depending on how I can manage the editing... Hope you enjoy and thanks for helpful criticism

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After a few quick shots my body began to relax with ease. Suddenly, I could hear familiar voices from afar. Ariel threw another blanket over me and said, “Be still and play dead.”

 

The command was both funny and humiliating. I decided to slow my breathing and listen to the footsteps drew closer along with an unsettling soft paw and claw sounds against the metal floor . Ariel managed to fake tears and wail while clutching me over the blankets, “Look at what you made me do, you killed my only grandchild!”

 

The officer spoke Russian and then followed with, “It was your experiment, now where is the corpse?”

 

I could sense that Ariel was gesturing towards me as one of the officers lifted back the sheet that covered me to expose my face. The Russian gave me a nudge and I did my best to relax and not inhale. He explained to his superior, “She’s right this one’s not breathing.”

 

“Is there a pulse?”

 

He felt with his finger prints along the fur of my neck as I stiffened up under the cover of fur. He replied, “It’s hard to tell, he has a thick coat this one, I can’t make out a pulse. He’s warm but I believe it’s from the fur that covers his body.”

 

The superior upon hearing the reply ordered, “Lets wheel out this sack of wasted effort then. And as for you Areil, let’s not put anymore family members on the waiting list.”

 

“Wait!” I heard the soft voice as my nostrils flared, it wasn’t the voice of just a human but an animal as well. I slowly opened my eye and saw before me another monster of both human and animal just like me. The creature silently walked towards me with its lower paws like a human and lifts the cover enough to reveal me. Its nose breathed along the back of my neck and it licked the side of my ear which caused all my hairs to stand on end. The creature spoke again, so this is the one that carries the antidote?

 

My mind raced, Antidote, what could she mean? Her next response was, “dispose of the body properly in the incinerator, we can’t allow our goals to fail.”

 

The Russian in the back answered, “Yes sir!” The creature then whispered in my ear, “I’ll find you.” And then the creature walked away back to her comrades.

 

The cart I was on began to roll along as the wheels clanked from the ground and squeaked slightly with every forward motion. The superior ordered, “Dispose of this properly, we don’t want any civilians to see this. Take route B-12”

 

The Russian replied with his head slightly dipping a nod, “Aye Sir.”

 

We rolled along through hallways empty except for the passing of guards. Never seeing this place filled my nose with all kinds of scents, like the nervous sweat from soldiers in their offices. Along with meals from a nearby mess hall that made my mouth water. Hunger filled my thoughts until we reached the furnace. I could feel the heat suddenly rise causing me to pant nervously under the sheet. I waited for my chance to escape. I did not want to cause a commotion and tried to study an exit strategy.

 

The cooling vents for the furnace seemed like the best way out. I waited until we got closer to the furnace and the man removed my sheet so he could toss me in. The furnace door opened to the hot pit. My body was sweating from the fear of dying and the desire to kill or be killed. Seconds ticked by me and I could not think of what to do, my mind was screaming run ….run, but another part of me spoke darkly kill …..kill! The man began to push me into the furnace. A man that served his country and knew what dark secrets they were doing. This man was my enemy but what should I do?

[Galantine Knight Misticore† 0]

I am moving this post to the writing hall please post your comments there please and thank you More will come from there