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What does this poem say to you?


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#1 Thomas Maltuin

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Posted 20 April 2015 - 02:25 PM

What do you get from this?

http://hellopoetry.c...d-non-sequitur/

If anything hehehe

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#2 Ember

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Posted 20 April 2015 - 02:39 PM

It's so deep I cannot comprehend it! lol

To me it seems that one is a sloth and the other persons view of the sloth is distorted... They live in a false reality... And they are getting married ;)
Proverbs 31:30
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

#3 Thomas Maltuin

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Posted 20 April 2015 - 02:54 PM

Hehehe that is the way of poetry dear tigress. Poetry is often a bit ambiguous so as to allow a personal interpretation by the reader. So if you so desire, try going deeper into the chaos. Chance a spin on the wheel of perspective. If you read line by line, what does it make you think of in relation to your own experiences. There are no wrong answers here!

Edited by Thomas Maltuin, 21 April 2015 - 12:04 AM.

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Forever,
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#4 Ember

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Posted 21 April 2015 - 08:38 PM

Yea.... My head is in for a spin with this poem... It doesn't help that it is crunch time here at school... *overwhelmed*
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Proverbs 31:30
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

#5 TheCamoWolf

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Posted 21 April 2015 - 09:36 PM

It reminds me of the chaos in my head right now.
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#6 Thomas Maltuin

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Posted 21 April 2015 - 10:28 PM

Yea.... My head is in for a spin with this poem... It doesn't help that it is crunch time here at school... *overwhelmed*

Yeah, crunch time for sure. On the bright side I have a 103% in calculus 2 right now lol

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#7 foxbunny

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Posted 22 April 2015 - 01:32 PM

I got stuck on the opening lines because I look less at "what" than "how" poems mean.

"the sloth is so slow" is cool to me because it has so many stresses. u'u'' That spondee at the end of the line puts so much pressure on the sloth. It puts impatience into the line. It could be tightened into a line of only stresses by eliminating  "the" and "is" and it would match the triple stress of "digging through."



#8 Thomas Maltuin

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Posted 22 April 2015 - 02:00 PM

I have never really practiced meter. I used to toy with it a bit though. Stresses are something that I understand but not fully. This poem was written in a time of depression as a way of getting it out and afterwards I felt much better. The opening of the poem changed before I posted it here it originally read something like

"the sloth is so slow
I think his CPU is laggy"

I realized however that it didn't match the rest of the poem. I am glad you like the meter. At see point I'd like to dig and see if
There is a positive correlation between certain moods and good pretty elements and perhaps certain styles. I'm sure limericks would be more fluid if written in a positive mood.

If you have any more suggestions on accent, feel free to share. I would be more interested in knowing how all the different types accent affect a poem (at least traditionally).

Edited by Thomas Maltuin, 22 April 2015 - 02:00 PM.

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by: Tomo

 

Don't Give Up!
Keep moving forward,
 
Forever,
Endeavor.


#9 foxbunny

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Posted 22 April 2015 - 07:40 PM

The best way to practice meter is to write formal poems (those with a specific form you have to follow). Prosody is hard, though. It starts to leak over into your prose, too, which is a plus.



#10 Thomas Maltuin

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Posted 23 April 2015 - 04:11 AM

Thinking back, removing "is" and "the" from that line would kinda work when read as a continuation of line one. Hmm

And I will look into this "prosody"

Edited by Thomas Maltuin, 23 April 2015 - 04:11 AM.

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by: Tomo

 

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#11 SuperKuddlor

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Posted 23 April 2015 - 07:00 PM

It reminds me of my stupid brain making me hungry, thirsty, itchy, tired, sleepy or inspired for something else when I have to study or do one thing. Then I waste 90% of my powers on fighting in my brain and only 10% is left for studying and then when I'm tired, I'm back fighting because I'm so angry. Then I get too tired to sleep. My brain gets too tired to sleep and dream properly from intense thinking so I wake up horribly and gotta keep my eyes open and I can't and then I feel dreams and daydreams while in class which I'm fighting. Basically, it's always some fight in another life; my brain; instead of having things solved for me so I can study like I need to.



#12 Thomas Maltuin

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Posted 23 April 2015 - 11:38 PM

That's really good Zvoc! That's the right emotion! I'm glad you picked up on that part.

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by: Tomo

 

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Forever,
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#13 SuperKuddlor

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Posted 24 April 2015 - 12:01 PM

X3 yaaaaaay!




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