Thomas, Maltuin 1 Report post Posted December 14, 2014 A poem I was struck with inspiration at random per the usual and I must let it out before it fades away or dominates my mind. What is, A story without a plot, A rhyme without reason, Some times more beautiful perhaps Ah I embrace the existence of some in all their frivolous nature. However, I am quite perplexed at how many assume that some of the following can exist meaningfully without their mate and counter part Would you divide true Gemini? Or part the hand from his work? For what is land without the water, but a dull mass of dirt. Period. End of statement, not of song: What is lyric without voice, free will without choice? Hmm... Oh my this brings more into my mind, I'll let it out lest I endlessly list the meaningless to myself in silence. What is harmony without melody? Paint without canvass? Medium without foundation? What a thought, true freedom without direction beautiful for a moment but a moment only. Perhaps this is the pitfall of my unfinished works. A temporary vanity that dissipates into a forgotten thought. Don't mistake my meaning, (for I'm not sure if there is one.) there is an attractive quality about such creation, but it pulls toward a bigger picture not yet seen. Perhaps, as memories, fragmented into minute pieces, that without the final sliver, will never be anything greater than Spare change on a dresser of value yet overlooked and long forgotten. I ask you now what I asked myself, In rhetoric none the less, but I ask, What is a character without a story? What is a tale without a single soul? Which was first? chicken or egg? Some say egg but I say nay for a chicken will survive without the egg but without a chicken, a simple elipse is without life and placed hardboiled into salad. Put them together and the egg lives, but the hen lives more purposefully. Alas that fits more into the Grand scheme, a master theme which still lacks bearing on this nonsense I spew in abundance. What is a creator without Creation. Is a story worth writing without a character, or is it become a gentle background without a focal point? Is a character void without a story in which to live? Or was the story there all along, composed in the footsteps and wake of our beloved protagonist. Or was the character shaped out of joys and hardships of her own history. Who wrote who The paradox of biography is revealed to me now. What is white without black? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thomas, Maltuin 1 Report post Posted December 14, 2014 It just kind of stopped here but I think it kinda worked out Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
foxbunny† 1 Report post Posted December 14, 2014 I think you have some good raw material there. Remember that everything in a poem means. Every punctuation mark or space or capital letter. And the first and last words of a line are also very important (the last mores than the first). Paring things down is very hard, but you end up with a much stronger poem. You might change that section near the beginning by dropping some words, losing the punctuation and changing the spacing. For example: what is plot without story reason without rhyme more beautiful embrace existence frivolous If you really want something to blow your mind you might look up "syncopated sonnet." Tyehimba is an absolute genius with poetry that I still can't even wrap my head around. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thomas, Maltuin 1 Report post Posted December 14, 2014 (edited) this was intended as free verse. It was spontaneously done. Improvised. I specifically denied myself when I would say "let me change that" except to replace repetitious words. I would like to refine later but for now this is intended as raw thought, rough, only posted as poetry because for some reason as it threaded itself through my brain it struck me as strangely poetic compared to the rigorous rituals my mind usually produces. It was a moment of freedom. I will read your suggestion though. Edited December 14, 2014 by Tigris Umbrae Share this post Link to post Share on other sites