Julius Scipio† 0 Report post Posted April 9, 2009 I'm something of a poet, on occasion. I might put a few up here. At any rate, I'll put this one, for it's being puclished soon in my school's liteary magazine! ^^ I wrote this while listening to the Coheed and Cambria song "Feathers". It reminded me of a John Milton qoute, which spawned this a moment later. FEATHERS Feathers Our pegasus rises on unsteady wings When she opens her eyes She finds that the world is bright and that she can fly on Feathers She rises upwards, spiral That neither begins nor ends It is eternal and she flies on Feathers That after awhile, aren't as clean As they once were. And she beholds Feathers And it occurs to our pegasus That the places she's been Have stayed with her And they are here on her Feathers. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
burntiger† 0 Report post Posted July 2, 2009 Thats pretty. I dig it. Maybe break it up into stanzas? Repeating feathers over and over again grants the poem a sense of continuity, and really makes the ending. Interesting how the first and last paragraphs are the densest, where you say the most, and the middle two fly by. just an observation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AshFalcon† 0 Report post Posted July 2, 2009 Nice. I couldn't do something half that good. Oh, and burntiger, why don't you post in the new member introductions? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeviWolstrom† 0 Report post Posted July 7, 2009 Thats pretty. I dig it. Maybe break it up into stanzas? Repeating feathers over and over again grants the poem a sense of continuity' date=' and really makes the ending. Interesting how the first and last paragraphs are the densest, where you say the most, and the middle two fly by. just an observation. [/quote'] I'm pretty sure Julius is in the Dominican Republic right now, but when he gets back I'll direct him to his thread so he can see your comments. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Julius Scipio† 0 Report post Posted July 18, 2009 Thanks, Levi! I was in the DR. Thanks for reading it. Burntiger, I had not noticed that before about it. After you said it and I read back, I see how the middle rushes by. I wish I had thought of that originally. And about the stanzas... I have considered it. But I'm not sure where you could make the seperation without making couplets. I don't like writing in couplets. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lanceaugust31 0 Report post Posted August 31, 2009 I guess i don't really write poems but i really love reading them... so thanks for sharing the poem i really love it.. __________________ Freelance writing Share this post Link to post Share on other sites