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I now wonder if total emptiness still has a drop of something left. God makes it so we can heal. How do we get to Him without something in us to do so? Anyone who has healed or gotten "better" has to have something left to fuel that journey. And so, this prayer is not 100% empty. This prayer pours out with the very last of what is left of the hurt, the desire, the life, the ache, the broken separation, and the pride in us. And He pours into us renewal. How empty is 'empty?' Is it just an idea that Satan, still in his last desperate attempt of trying to keep us in chains of death and nothingness, is employing? God, please just listen to me. I don’t feel anymore. I cannot feel You. I cannot feel hope. I cannot feel love. I can’t even feel pain now. God, I am just so empty. I’m tired of it. I’m dead. I’m nothing. I give up... I ran and fell. I want to live once more. Hear me, God. I’m begging… I’m desperate. I wanna live. I wanna feel. I want joy! I want life! Even pain is better than this. Jesus, come into me… Fill me again. Breath in life. Give emotion. Give hope. Make me… Do You hear me, God? I’m ready to listen, because I’m ready to once again live.
