Random poems...

[Julius Scipio† 0]

I'm something of a poet, on occasion. I might put a few up here. At any rate, I'll put this one, for it's being puclished soon in my school's liteary magazine! ^^

 

I wrote this while listening to the Coheed and Cambria song "Feathers". It reminded me of a John Milton qoute, which spawned this a moment later.

 

FEATHERS

 

 

Feathers

Our pegasus rises on unsteady wings

When she opens her eyes

She finds that the world is bright

and that she can fly on

Feathers

She rises upwards, spiral

That neither begins nor ends

It is eternal

and she flies on

Feathers

That after awhile, aren't as clean

As they once were.

And she beholds

Feathers

And it occurs to our pegasus

That the places she's been

Have stayed with her

And they are here on her

Feathers.

[burntiger† 0]

Thats pretty. I dig it. Maybe break it up into stanzas? Repeating feathers over and over again grants the poem a sense of continuity, and really makes the ending. Interesting how the first and last paragraphs are the densest, where you say the most, and the middle two fly by. just an observation.

[AshFalcon† 0]

Nice. I couldn't do something half that good. Oh, and burntiger, why don't you post in the new member introductions?

[LeviWolstrom† 0]

Thats pretty. I dig it. Maybe break it up into stanzas? Repeating feathers over and over again grants the poem a sense of continuity' date=' and really makes the ending. Interesting how the first and last paragraphs are the densest, where you say the most, and the middle two fly by. just an observation.

[/quote']

 

I'm pretty sure Julius is in the Dominican Republic right now, but when he gets back I'll direct him to his thread so he can see your comments.

[Julius Scipio† 0]

Thanks, Levi! I was in the DR.

 

Thanks for reading it. Burntiger, I had not noticed that before about it. After you said it and I read back, I see how the middle rushes by. I wish I had thought of that originally.

 

 

And about the stanzas... I have considered it. But I'm not sure where you could make the seperation without making couplets. I don't like writing in couplets.

[lanceaugust31 0]

I guess i don't really write poems but i really love reading them... so thanks for sharing the poem i really love it..

 

 

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